37 Other Things
by Inferna Firesword
Summary: Spin-off of 37 Things by Prowlersgirl. What would happen if the Multiverse had an elevator?
1. The List

**Spinner Cortez's List of Elevator Pranks**

**1. When you board with a group of people, look around, sigh, and announce, "First day of parole."**

**2. Pretend you can't hear or understand someone saying hello until the end of the ride.**

**3. When alone in the elevator, play "Evacuate the Dance Floor" and perform its **_**Dance Central**_** routine (any difficulty). When the song ends, exit the elevator like it was a completely normal occurrence.**

**4. Superglue some coins to the floor.**

**5. Tap someone on the shoulder and accuse someone else.**

**6. When the elevator arrives, pelt in from the side screaming bloody murder, run inside, and hit the door-close button. When people ask, act like you don't know what they're talking about.**

**7. Whip out a camera and snap pictures of everyone in the elevator before getting off.**

**8. Walk in with a cardboard box containing a mosquito-sound-device. When the sound starts, deny that you know anything about it and refuse to open the box.**

**9. When it's quiet, look around in confusion and ask, "Did you hear that?"**

**10. Greet people with the wrong names. Act offended when they try to correct you.**

**11. Giggle psychotically.**

**12. Bring a bag with you. Look around furtively, open it, and whisper, "How're you doing in there?"**

**13. Bring in objects of your choice and proceed to juggle.**

**14. Halfway through the ride, take out a laser pointer and begin playing with it.**

**15. Mimic people.**

**16. Make an explosion noise whenever a button is pushed.**

**17. Grin like a manic. Deny that there's something up when another passenger asks.**

**18. Hold the door open and say you're waiting for a friend. Eventually let the doors close and commence an animated conversation with thin air.**

**19. Stare vacantly into space. When someone is about to leave, say in your best possessed voice, "They're here …"**

**20. Chatter incessantly on your cell phone. (Have an accomplice be on the other end.)**

**21. Have an impromptu staring contest.**

**22. Play an annoying song. Make sure you walk out before someone gets around to punching you.**

**23. Board with a cooler reading "Vandal Head" on the side.**

**24. When sharing the elevator with a Vandal, use ventriloquism to make them think there's someone outside the elevator, preferably on the roof.**

**25. Smile and wave when people get on and off the elevator.**

**26. Don't do anything – it keeps the other passengers on their toes.**

**27. Hold a bucket of water up to the ceiling with a pole-like object. Near the end of the ride, get a dim-witted passenger to take your place and leave them to their own devices.**

**28. Walk in with a goldfish bowl, complete with goldfish.**

**29. Pick a random person in the elevator. When they leave, glomp them.**

**30. When sharing the elevator with one other person, act as if you're deep in thought, then abruptly announce that you require a new host body.**

**31. Play and perform the Caramelldansen. Try to get everyone to join in. (Bring an accomplice to make it more convincing.)**

**32. Let your cell phone ring – don't answer it. (Make sure to have an annoying ringtone.)**

**33. Board with an accomplice and play patty-cake.**

**34. Mutter like a mad scientist.**

**35. Booby-trap the elevator speakers – replace the usual soundtrack with a Rickroll.**

**36. Take out a magnifying glass and examine the walls.**

**37. [CLASSIFIED]**

**XxX**

**A/N: **The original _37 Things _was a Transformers fic written by Prowlersgirl. When _37 More Things_ (written by TFSuperfan), a fic based off the original, showed up in the Transformers section, I decided to make a spin-off, since this was the sort of thing Spinner would do. =D For the record, this takes place in an AU after the Season 2 finale: some members of the RS5 (excluding Krytus) will be present, along with Vandals, the Blue Sark, and a few OCs from my stories.

Enjoy!

-Inferna


	2. Parole

**Parole**

_Ding._

The twin doors of the elevator slid open to admit Alpha Prime Black Diad Choza, balancing a stack of Sentient datachips that amounted to more paperwork for her than she'd had to handle during the entire war. Granted, in the war there had been fewer people to pass missives along – either you acted or you didn't – but still …

Grimly anticipating the day behind her desk that was before her, the female sidled inside, joining a bored-looking insect-Vandal, two lesser Blue Diads with missive-stones in hand, and a Zurk. After the war had ended, the Council of Five had re-evaluated the Battlezone-Battlekey system and – encouraged by Council Leader Vert Wheeler – built an elevator for those that did not wish to drive through stormshock portals. Choza's Mistress Metaturra, the High Keymaster and caretaker of the Battlezones, hadn't minded the addition: it let her pay more attention to things other than the status of this Key or that Key.

After all, a great danger was coming. Choza didn't know all the details, but Metaturra did, and the Diad was sure her Mistress would tell her soon of what to expect.

"Could someone hit the Hub Zone button, please?" she asked, trying to shift the stack into a balanced pile in one hand and failing.

The Vandal obliged and Choza backed into one of the corners, trying to regain a semblance of order on how her datachips were stacked. A few Zones later, the lift stopped for another passenger, and the doors opened to admit … Spinner Cortez.

Everyone else in the elevator shifted uneasily, eyes riveted on the Human as he walked in, a devil-may-care look on his face as he hit the button for the Obelisk Zone. The Technical/Tactical Support Officer have become infamous all over the Multiverse for his pranks, though a stern talking-to by his younger twin and Vert had made him mellow out for a while. Of course, everyone knew that this quiet phase was not going to last forever. Behind the stack, Choza watched him suspiciously.

For his part, Spinner seemed completely ignorant that the atmosphere had become tense when he had walked in. An earbud was in his left ear, he had street clothes on, and there were no suspicious bulges in his pockets that might indicate he had materials for a joke. A few Zones passed with no pranks, and as they approached the Obelisk Battlezone, everyone relaxed a bit. Maybe nothing would happen after all.

At just that moment, Spinner removed the earbud, put it in his pocket, and abruptly seemed to notice he was not alone in the elevator. The older Cortez brother looked around, swinging his arms, and sighed. As the doors opened for his Zone, he announced the words the other occupants had not expected, yet dreaded to hear.

"First day of parole."

The Black Diad stared after Spinner as the doors closed again, then looked at the other passengers. The Zurk was – naturally – nonplussed, but the Vandal and the other two Diads all had nervous looks on their faces. Something about them told Choza that those three were not going to be taking the elevator for the rest of the day.

Now, Choza usually didn't like pranks, especially when they were played by the Prankster King himself, and Spinner's declaration could not be anything other than a harbinger for things to come. That being said, there were dark times on the horizon again, and for all she knew, they might all be dead next week. Why not have a little fun?

Mischievous thoughts – thoughts most people thought would never cross the mind of a Diad, much less an Alpha Prime – came to the forefront of her brain, and as she arrived at her Zone and made an exit, she decided to take a vacation day or three from those she had stored up, find out where Spinner was, and jump in. After all, if you didn't want to be pranked, the best way to avoid them was to join forces with the King.

**XxX**

Spinner managed to keep a straight face until he reached the base camp he and Zoom had set up over the past week, where he finally collapsed on the sofa, snorting with laughter. "Did you see their faces?" he managed to get out.

On another chair, the Muay Tai warrior grinned over the top of Spinner's laptop, which he'd wired to show what the elevator camera was recording. "Yep. Personally, I think the looks they had when you walked in were best, but those Diads definitely looked like they were ready to bolt when you said it."

Regaining control of his mirth, the older Cortez brother leaned over and let Zoom pass the computer over to him. "Come on, it's your turn. Get going!"

The Asian teen raced towards the elevator, and while Spinner waited for his accomplice to show up on the camera, he checked his email. One was already there, sent from one of his victims: Choza, that Black Diad.

_Spinner – mind if I get in on the action?_

Another accomplice? Yes please.

**XxX**


	3. Hello?

**Hello?**

**XxX**

The elevator was empty when Zoom Takazumi boarded, but he figured it was just chance – the story of what Spinner had done couldn't have spread that fast in a Multiverse that didn't have Facebook, Myspace, instant messaging, or Twitter.

Standing quietly in the corner, Zoom waited for a victim. When Spinner had described the prank, he had said that the number of victims didn't matter, but it was best to have one for as long as possible. His plan was to keep it to one person for as long as possible, then leave when other people came on.

Like his thoughts were a summons, the elevator reached the next Zone and opened up. It was all he could do to keep from grinning when he saw who walked in: Vert Wheeler! Zoom looked towards the corner where the camera was and flashed a grin, hoping that Spinner was paying attention, then got his game face on, doing his best to look completely nonchalant.

"Heya, Zoom," Vert said, barely looking up from his stack of Council paperwork to recognize who was before him and hit the Modulon 5 button.

"_Hello," _Zoom said in return – and Vert looked straight back up when it crossed his ears. There was no way Vert could understand what he'd said – unless, of course, the Battle Force 5 leader had learned Thai, Zoom's native language, without telling anyone. Personally, he found that possibility to be rather unlikely, especially considering the fact the blonde looked utterly bewildered.

"What?" the aforementioned Human said, trying to perform the universal (Earthly, anyway) signal that he couldn't understand the Muay Thai practitioner. "Speak English, Zoom."

It was now Zoom's turn to look confused, or try to. _"What?" _he echoed, once again in Thai, mimicking Vert's hand signals. _"What did you say?"_

Vert was now starting to look irritated. "Hel-lo," he enunciated, performing a slow-motion wave and most likely feeling extremely stupid. In return, Zoom continued the confusion act, and finally the older Human gave up and retreated into the paperwork. Smirking inside, the biker went back to leaning quietly in his corner, waiting for the elevator to open up again so he could get back to base.

When it did open, it was at the Tropical Beach Battlezone, admitting Agura as she hopped in on one foot, trying to put her other shoe back on – she'd probably been dumping sand out when the elevator had arrived. "Hey Vert, Zoom," she said, hopping to the wall and using it as a brace.

"Heya, Agura. See ya later," Zoom said in English, disembarking. Just before the doors closed, he got a very satisfying look at Vert's face, which looked utterly stunned. The Asian teen waited until the elevator had left again before bursting out laughing.

**XxX**

Vert's expression didn't change even when they had left the Tropical Beach, making Agura worry he had made the face too many times and now had it stuck that way forever. Sure, that was just something parents said to their grumpy kids, but when you traveled the Multiverse, you had to be willing to accept anything.

"Vert, you okay?" she asked, waving one hand in front of his face. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Like he had abruptly snapped out of a trance, the commander shook his head, restoring his expression to its default. "No, I'm fine." Inwardly, though, he had decided that after he had reached Modulon 5 and the Councilhouse, he would find Sage or Sherman and ask if it was possible for someone to spontaneously forget and then remember an entire language. Before, he wouldn't have thought it was possible, but after riding up countless tornado-gates and fighting mutant animals, android armies, and wicked energy-creatures, skepticism tended to fly out the window.

**XxX**

Choza had arrived and was halfway through a download when Zoom returned to the base. Spinner grinned and offered his accomplice a high-five. The Asian returned it, then looked curiously at the Diad reclining on the couch, a USB cord plugged into her wrist and trailing to Spinner's laptop. "She's an accomplice now?"

"Yeah," the Hispanic teen replied as Choza's eyes opened, pulled the cord out of her arm, and then stood and stretched. "Just downloading the stuff for the next prank, since apparently Diads don't play _Dance Central._"

"Incidentally, do you have any other accomplices, Spinner?" Choza asked. "If it's just us three, someone will figure it out at some point."

"Don't worry. Zoom, give the others a text and tell them to meet up with us." The short Human winked at the Diad as the younger teen pulled out his cell phone and flopped onto the couch. "We think of everything."

The Black Diad couldn't hide her grin. "Indeed you do. Now it's my turn," she said, running for the elevator.

**XxX**


End file.
